On your 115 blog, post a statement that pertains to that project of self portraiture.
Do not reveal the project as an assignment. Attempt to cover the scope of what your intentions are, and how you expect your blog to function to a viewer.
Remember that you only have to discuss this piece. Do not write an all encompassing artist statement. This should be geared more like a project description--a statement of purpose, written in first person. Three to four sentences should suffice.
Take a look at Felecia Carlisle statements. They are nicely written. Note the differences between the two.
Artist Statement:
http://feleciacarlisle.com/section/30047.html
Project Statement:
http://feleciacarlisle.com/section/30050.html
This is a good resource for later in life!
http://www.artistsfoundation.org/art_pages/resources/resources_arts_statement.htm
BE SURE THAT YOU HAVE YOUR STATEMENT UP BY MIDNIGHT ON TUESDAY AND CRIT ALL OF YOUR PEERS BY MIDNIGHT ON WEDNESDAY.
The big question is: Does the blog really do what the Statement provided says it will? If not--how do they fix that statement so that it does.
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12 comments:
REBEKAHS COMMENTS:
Thom, I like the idea of documenting "each area apart of the realm that is "myself". That totally reads through your photos. Even the Walgreens photo seems like such a mundane trip to photograph, yet it comes across like this vibrant experience. I also enjoy you realting your journey to a painting, I think it helps viewers get a better grasp at your goal.
Val, I can't find your blog. Am I missing it?
Ray, I like the idea of "existing for photography" as if you have a whole new way to look at your life. But I am not sure on using the word "project" in your statement. I was really feeling what you were writing until I got to that, it just makes me feel like you are doing this for other reasons (like your teacher told you too). The whole statement is not too serious or divulging which goes right along with your photos. Nice job.
Ruth, I know this is not part of the statement, the whole being sick part, but I kinda dig it. It lets us into your personal life, pretty cool. As far as the statement goes, I enjoy that you are being truthful with yourself and us, really trying to let us in ...push that in your photos. Let us into your world through photography.
Jessica E. , You were very truthful in your statement about photoshop and exploring, putting it all out there, nice. Your statement goes great with your photos! I capture a childlike sense when I look at your photos and the statement confirmed that feeling.
Rezvan, Very strong. "I exist" at the end came across nicely. The statement is stronger than the photos, it is forceful while the photos are not. But I like both apart from one another.
Jeannine, "I am doing all of this for you" came across well. It makes me feel a close bond as a viewer w/ you, even though I might have never met you. The statement is full of emotion and so are the photos. Nice job.
Karen, I see your "creativity stretching" when I look at your progression from beginning to now. The statement totally works!
Jessica, Good statement but I am not sure if you really need to give us, as a viewer, everything (i.e. the color green in each photo and eye contact). It is evidentin your photos. I am interested in the viewer "feeling" through photos and a website , what a concept.
Andrew, I like how you made me think when I just read that. Your statement made me search for your patterns and choices in your photos which is refreshing.
Demetria, Couldn't find your statement!
Chavis, Awesome statement. The idea of combinations of color and shape repeated is written well and conveys what is in your photos. The statement makes me look at the photos in a whole new light. Searching fora deeper meaning to your physical self is a VERY personal journey, thanks for letting us in.
Karmeshia, I love the idea of your shoes telling your mood, the statement goes nicely with your photos, nothing to serious, just fun.
Tiffany, I couldn't find your blog.
CRIT FROM JESSICA E.
Andrew
There are so many thoughts running through my head about your blog. You take compelling images. I just wish they were all as colorful as the most recent. You have great facial expressions in each. I really like the pictures you put out. However, I have a few issues with your project statement. Sure we're all creature of habit, but I am not sure if you should go about your project trying to find your habits. Showing your habits is different. Your project statement should be more active. If you want to make your blog geared toward your habits, do it intentionally.
Chavis
I want more pictures from you. You're project statement seems more like questions you should be asking yourself in order to create a project statement. Answer the questions. Either go towards abstract images of yourself or revealing ones.
Jessica
Your ability to take a picture keeps getting better and better. I adore the two pictures with you and the pink ball. And more recently my favorite is the one with you in water. If you want to make a point of having green in each image, make the green pop. Your statement seems consistent with your images. Nicely done.
Rebecca
I enjoy your images. You have a quirky nature shown through your pictures. You're project statement goes right along with that. You might want mention that you take all the images on a mac in a computer lab. It tells the viewer why the images have the quality that they do.
Ray
It makes me sad that you are going for a documentary type thing as opposed to the set up thought out image. It would probably be more work to do such a thing away from home. So, I understand the reasoning behind not going that way. Keep choosing bright colors to surround you in your images. I wish there was a little more to your project summary. However, I am not sure what.
Karen
I am enjoying your most recent image. Your project statement sounds like our assignment. I think you should try to get away from that. Find what you want the project to be about above what was assigned. I see you stretching yourself. Keep working on it.
Demetria
I think you should branch out with your hand images. Maybe try making it "model" in a sense. You show it modeling things like pills, but maybe try and make it the center of attention treat it like a person. That's something to try. I think you should work on the color quality in your images to make the more interesting. I also think you need a new banner. It doesn't fit your blog. possibly something with your hand in it.
I don't see a project statement.
Rezvan
I adore your project. here is my e-mail: isthisyours@gmail.com if you still want to have yourself in the images let me know. I think I am ok not having you in the images. The squares are a part of you. if you make a case for that then you don't need yourself in the images. The pictures you take of your squares are beautiful. Keep up the good work. About your project statement. It bothers me that you have one period. I think it;d be better to have all statement end with punctuation or none. Other than that. I think your statement works well!
Val
I love your new picture with the kittens. Your layout is wonderful. I don't know if the dots you make next to the images should be more random or not. Did you write a project statement?
Sam
I love your images. I have been enjoying you covering your face with different object. I'll crit you more on friday! :)
Ruth
Okay, maybe its me, but if your are trying to document to truth about you, take pictures of you when your sick. They would be honest and open and showing a side of you that I know people rarely see. I think maybe you should work toward that idea of showing us what we don't know about Ruth.
Tiffany
Where is your blog?
Thom
I like your new banner image. Your project statement is well stated and clear. I love your new image it is busy and I have to play "where's thom?". But I'm along for the ride. You, sir, create beautiful images.
Karmeshia
I am very glad you found a direction in your blog. Your project statement works with it. Just keep the color pumped in each picture. Good job!
Jeannine
You have an interesting eye. I think you are artistic. I am not against words, but remember this is a photography class, missy. Take more pictures! That's an order.
REZVAN'S COMMENTS:
Thom, I think your blog is doing exactly what you want it to do. It's true that the viewer learns something about you from each photo, and that makes your blog very engaging. Every picture gives us some information about you, yet arouses curiosity; like we want to know more or we want to ask questions. I think that's a very strong idea for a blog that documents self portraits.
Val, your photographs are lovely to look at, I think your facial expressions go well witht the objects you hold, and I really like how the colored circles are a representation of the photos next to them; but I didn't see any statement, did I miss it or it's not up yet?
Ray, good statement, it goes well with your photos, but I do think that may be if I see more pictures in your blog, I can understand it even better. Existing for photography is great, do much more of it.
Ruth, The idea of being true to yourself and saying what you REALLY mean is great, I can't wait to see how you capture that with photographs.
Rebekah, great job experimenting. I think you are doing well with what little material and space you use, your blog does what your statement says. But I do have a hard time understanding some of your titles, is that how it's suppose to be or it's just me?
Jessica E, I like how truthful and honest your statement is; it goes very well with your blog, your photos make me smile and they are very creative. I like how you come up with different characters, they're fun to look at. I also like how you are daring to work with humor in art. It's hard to pull of but I think you are very good at it.
Jeannine, I like your statement because it makes me, the viewer, feel close to you as an artist. And the photos are full of personality. Your blog is very interesting and strong.
Karen, I do see "stretch in your creativity", your statement goes well with your photographs as a series from begining up to now.
Andrew, is your statement saying that you are NOT taking your photographs willingly? If that's true, I love the fact that you are freely stating it. It's not easy having to take one self portrait of yourself everyday, but you are going through with it because you have to. Is that what your statement is telling us?
Jessica, I really like the statement "These images are used to represent my need for daily expressive release" and I think it goes very well with your images, but I am not so sure about "My intentions are to allow the viewer to create a sense of feeling what I'm feeling in a non-typical kind of way." I don't know if all of the photographs transfer your feelings clearly, you know?
Demetria, I couldn't find any statement.
Karmeshia,I totally understand what your statement is saying, and I think it's a fresh idea to let your shoes and their color represent your mood or tell us where you might be. Real fun!
Chavis, great statement, I had no idea that's what you were trying to capture. This " Are these images just combinations of color and shape, or can a viewer really know me just by looking at them?" is a very good question, I will think about the answer now when I look at your pictures.
Hello again, everyone. It’s Jeannine! Here are my critiques for your blogs/statements.
Thom,
Your statement seems very direct. I see your blog as exploration of self through the limits only a few pictures can identify. I like that you’ve told us ‘…115 pictures of myself (straightforward, abstract, or otherwise) can never truly define who I am, or anyone else …’. It already shows us that you’re a rational thinker and with that, I’m already interested in the kind of person you can show me simply by documenting the aspects of life that surround you.
Val,
I don’t see a project statement, but you’re the woman in charge, so it’s all good. I’ll be on the lookout in case you decide to post one.
Ray,
I absolutely love the sincerity in your statement. You seem to have a tender relationship with the artistic medium that gave you happiness and I feel like you’re giving back to photography with the gift of yourself. It’s wonderful. If you keep taking pictures with that appreciation of photography in mind, as a whole entity, you’re going to have great pieces of yourself to connect back to it.
Tiffany,
Before I say anything regarding your statement, you definitely need to go back through your blogger settings and change the color of your text. Right now it’s light pink, so I can only read your title and statement by highlighting the text with my mouse. At any rate, your statement definitely fits with your light and airy photographs. I can’t help but feel a little shut-out, but I’m reading that this is your intention. I can sail through your photographs like they were slight waves of you on an ocean, with no understanding of which wave was meant to describe you the most. You’re mysterious, but I enjoy the search for you throughout your photographs.
Ruth,
I am very sorry to hear that you and your family have been sick. However, I do like that you’re making an attempt to be open with the viewers of your blog. The way you described your truth makes me believe that you’ve been very misunderstood throughout a lot of your life. I hope that you can let us in through your photography. Get well soon!
Rebekah,
I understand that you’re taking photographs in order to experiment within your limited space, which is great and also evident in your blog. I am only unsure of your rules. You seem to contradict yourself by saying, ‘I like to play but I have a few rules: 1) never play…’ It’s almost as though you have plans to hold back or restrict yourself from documenting something you would otherwise document. You’re usually so upfront; I may be reading all of your rules wrong. Perhaps you meant that you don’t follow the rules- not even your own? I would like to see a little less ambiguity in your statement.
Jessica E.,
Your statement makes perfect sense in regards to your photographs. I’m actually really floored that you’re acknowledging apple and photoshop, too. It shows that you’re utilizing your tools and aren’t afraid to let the viewers of your blog know how everything is constructed. It’s bold. Your humor and child-like creativity is always a treat for the eyes, so I’ll look forward to new posts.
Sam,
You’re on vacation. So, I guess I’ll wait to see what happens.
Rezvan,
The way you’ve written your statement is borderline frightening and, judging by what little I know of you, I don’t think that was your intention. In all of your photographs, you leave such subtle squares to mark your existence that the statement seems too over powering for the photographs. It sounds more that you’re afraid of being forgotten, rather than obsessed with the fact that you could be forgotten. Am I reading all of this wrong? If not, you should try and tone the statement down a notch.
Karen,
I really dig that you’re doing this project for the sake of your creativity. I can tell that you’ve been trying hard to get that brain working! I can’t say that I have a problem with anything written in your statement, either. It’s straightforward and it fits. Keep at it and I bet you’ll discover something about yourself that you didn’t even know.
Jessica N.,
I think your statement could use a bit more thought. It’s slightly spoon-fed in the way that you’ve worded it by giving the viewer too much information about your interests. It’s just not necessary. I’m more interested in this feeling what you’re feeling motive, but I’m confused as to what the non-typical way actually is. I would try to give the statement more clarity. The elements in your photographs are intriguing already, so just try and explain your true purpose.
Andrew,
Your statement seems very detached from your actual photographs. When I look at your photos, I don’t see your habits- I see you. I think that if you were actually trying to go in the direction of habitual documentation, you would find yourself very restricted. I also get a sense that you’re referring to negative habits and not positive ones. I like that you may show yourself in a darker and more serious way within your photographs (yes, even in the brightly lit ones), but I would definitely call it something other than a habit. I’m just not sure I understand the direction you’re trying to go in.
Demetria,,
I don’t see a project statement from you. :(
Chavis,
I actually enjoy that you materialize as one being and in abstract fragments. This shows that you really are searching for the meaning of your physical image throughout this project- making the question you ask yourself, and viewers, genuine. I think the answer may not be one option or the other; it’s something that we will determine when you’ve finished the project entirely. You’re unsure of yourself now, so there doesn’t have to be a clear direction in your photographs. Everything will work together to find the truth in the end.
Karmeshia,
I’m so glad you’ve added more pictures! Fun really is the best way to describe your idea. Expressions of the feet, rather than the face, with be an interesting challenge for you. However, I am finding a few grammatical errors throughout your statement. Just look through the statement again carefully and clean it up. Other than that, I’m glad you are taking this approach to your project. Good luck!
---
To the class: If you have any questions or concerns about the critique I’ve written on your blog, please don’t hesitate to contact me via AIM (sombreaulait) or e-mail (poluwave@hotmail.com).
Jeannine
Posted by Karmeshia Easley
Thom:
I love the idea that you came up with. You a chance at photographing yourself in random places, which displays your riskiness. I also like the idea of take pictures of others, but yet it still represent you. The picture of the shoes, alone, still characterizes you as a person.
Ray:
From the few pictures that you have on your blog, It seems as though your "on the spot" still seems so natural. I love the statement of you existing for photography and I think that this is a great start from the pictures that you have up.
Tiffany:
Didn't see anything posted
Ruth:
I love the phrase "never saying what I mean" because some things can be told better through photography. You show a sense of humor as stated, and your face didn't have to be shown. I look forward to seeing many more pictures. Even sick pictures would fit considering you wrote it in your statement.
Rebecca:
I like the idea that you set rules while creating your blog. They are enjoyable to those you read your comment and then take a look at your pictures. The creativity of using different materials is a great idea and it really tells a lot in each portrait. Play On.
Jessica:
The idea of taking pics on the mac and only using one layer to edit them is by far the best. You have taken this assignment and made it very interesting. Capturing you in your surroundings and adding a child like comic really shows your humorous side.
Rezvan:
Great post. I concluded so much in such a little phrase. The squares, whether they be on your body or placed on an object around you, will forever stick in my head once I see them. The placing of them are random, but interesting.
Jessica:
I can definitely tell the type of mood you are in by the expressions of you eyes. I also understand the meaning of a feeling in a "non-typical" kind of way through the tone that is shown throughout each picture.
Jeannine:
Your photos are do display an intimate relationship. It seems as though I get the feeling of being there with you while photographing each picture. The mood seems so calm and you are showing an artistic side, while making it enjoyable to the viewer.
Karen:
Your documentation really shows a calm side to you. The creativity is also high because you took photographs in totally different places and of totally different things. The pieces of you are very enjoyable.
Chavis:
A viewer can form an opinion about you through the pictures. The mood and feelings that you have at the moment can be determined by viewing your pictures. I like the questioning if it is you in the picture or combinations of colors and shapes.
Thom-
I think your statement is working well with your photographs. I believe that it is very well written and well thought out. I really like your idea about having no theme because that was my original intention before it took off in another direction. I look forward to getting to know you from the attributes distributed in your pictures although I know I will not grasp all of you but only a glimpse. Your statement has sort of a poetic under tone that I really enjoy.
Ray-
I love how you refer to your images as a documentary. Although we all may not quite think of this project as a documentary of ourselves, it really is. We are recording our personal artistic outlook during this period of time in our lives and although this may change during the course of our lives we can always look back and see where we came from and how we have developed.
Tiffany-
I don’t see a statement. Am I missing it?
Ruth-
I am very sorry to hear that you and your family are sick and I hope you guys get well. I really like you’re new post picture with the split image. It gives a sense of taking a good hard look at yourself and figuring out the person inside you so that you can show it to us. I am interested in seeing your future postings.
Rebekah-
I think you’re statement pertaining to experimentation with the objects in a stagnant environment is dead on, but I’m not too sure about the last part of the statement. I’m not sure about these ’rules’ and how they relate to your images. Maybe it’s just me. I am still very interested in seeing what objects you will use next.
Jessica E.-
I absolutely love your images and love how you have reverted to your ‘childlike’ mind. My only critique about your statement is that is long and gives too much description of the actual process of making the photos. Maybe you could summarize your statement even more. Just a thought.
Rezvan-
I love your obsessive nature about making us know that you exist. You are making us feel your existence without being present. The only critique I have is punctuation. Either use it or don’t. I don’t think your statement really needs the punctuation because it is represented more like a poem.
Jeannine-
The first part of your statement is very intriguing and well written. “Decipher the illusions’ relates well to your blog because most of your pictures are so mysteriously interesting. The only part I don’t not agree with is the “ I am not artistic” part because if you think you are not artistic then I think you are lying to yourself. Your photos strongly suggested artistic ability.
Karen-
I like your statement because it is very honest. I like how you are telling us that you are hoping to stretch your creativity by experimentation and we are actually seeing your development. Maybe excluding the last sentence would make your statement stronger. O, and that photo with you and the palm tree is just gorgeous!
Andrew-
I am unsure about your statement. It is a very nice statement, but I’m not sure if I’m relating it with your photos how I should be. The fourth photo down is my favorite. It is so creepy and mysterious in relation to your other photos which are much lighter. I keep looking at it because there is something very captivating about it.
Chavis-
Your statement is excellent to me. The question you have makes me wonder the same thing. Can these images really capture who I am? Is this truly possible? I respect your statement.
Karmeshia-
I like the new direction you have taken with you photographs because they are fun! I also think that your statement matches well.
Crits from:Jessica Nall
Hi Thom,
I like the premise of your statement. I think it would get the point across more eloquently without the following statement:
"I understand that simply taking 115 pictures of myself (straightforward, abstract, or otherwise) can never truly define who I am, or anyone else for that matter; so with that in mind I attempt to vary the subject matter within the parameters of "me": from the places I go, the people I see, my belongings, my body, my clothes, my family, my friends...each area apart of the realm that is "myself"; each picture illuminating another corner of my life."
Your an artist! Just make them see it your way;) (Remember, this is just one opinion)
I love your new photos. 23 is so cool! I'm glad the idea struck you to take that picture:) Another favorite is 19. I'm enjoying seeing these candid shots of you in your surroundings, with your people, and I do feel more familiar with you from viewing your day to day brush strokes. Your new banner is fun, but the old one was even better, in my opinion. Will you be changing up the banner again as time goes on? I would enjoy seeing what you come up with. I like your style. All in all, nice job:)
Hi Val,
O, what fun it is to view your happy O O Blog;) (it's been a long day...goofiness has set in) My favorites are the magnet O's and the kitten dishes. It was hard to pick favorites. Cool floor in the kittens one. What more can I say?
Hi Ray,
Your banner is awesome:) Did you snap that one? (I was going to say shoot, but I didn't like the thought of you shooting a gull.) Although I like your statement, the amount of photos you have on your blog doesn't suggest that you truly "exist for photography." I'm looking forward to seeing more of your existence. I hope you are having great experiences while in Mexico.
Hi Tiffany,
Your two new photos are interesting. I imagine that you ran to your seat after setting the timer on your camera in the one with the books. You are so minimally apparent in many of your photos. Is this a theme?
Hi Ruth,
I'm sorry to hear about your family and their/your illnesses. As for your artist's statement, I understand what you are getting at, but I'd love to hear it in stronger, more affirmative language. Rather than "I want to attempt...I hope to show......," it would sound great as "I will show...." Do you think stating it that way is a true way you would say it?
BTW, I like the new picture. Talk about introspection! :)
Hi Rebecca,
I think your artist's statement is well done. It flows well with your photos. I'm really enjoying your photos also. My favorite is "Cuddle," with "Little String" coming in second. Have a great weekend!
Hi Jess E,
Your statement says it all. Your images are wonderful! It's so much fun to open your blog. I look forward to seeing each new creation. Maybabomb is So funny! What is that cloud full of? I love your expressions and your characters. Ok, enough gushing for now;)
Hi Sam,
It's fun to see what inspires you when it's time to take your photos. The creepy dirty old man mask with you in a dress cracks me up!
Have a safe trip and good luck with the internet situation.
Hi Rezvan,
Your artist's statement is right on the mark. I'm enjoying this project more each time I see new images. I can't wait to get back up to school to see obsession in person. Happy painting!
Hi Jeannine,
Your blog is a trip! I mean that in the best sense of the word. Your statement is a good one, although I disagree with the statement that you are not an artist. I hope you keep finding stairways to something greater and enjoy the landings!
Hi Jessica,
I can see what you mean by your statement, but I guess I don't know you well enough to tell what you are feeling. I really like the photo of you in the water, with just your eyes above water. Could you be thinking/feeling "Hurry up and take the picture so I can breath?" ::kidding:: :) I hope your summer is going wonderfully.
Hi Andrew,
Nice statement! I really like photo 6.jpg. I can't help but feel that you aren't happy when I look at your photos. Could it be a poker face? I hope so. Sending you happy thoughts:)
Hi Demetria,
You have got quite the abundance of props for your hands! I like Photo 026 the best. I look forward to reading your statement. Have fun!
Hi Chavis,
I like your statement. I think photographs have definitely captured part of your essence! By personally selecting the photos to post, you are sharing your own unique point of view. Who else would flip the entire class off unapologetically? Trust me, you are really in the pictures you take. Nice haircut, by the way.
Hi Karmeshia,
I like the idea of your blog. The picture with the boots and stripped socks is crazy! I like all the different locations. I guess the only thing I would change would be the text across the pictures. The label style seems to get in the way of the image. Happy Trails!
Well wishes to all,
Karen
Hi Tiffany,
After reading Jeannine's critique of your artist's statement I went back to your blog to find it myself. I also had difficulty seeing it without highlighting it.
I like that there will be moments of intimacy scattered throughout your blog. I I look forward to seeing more pictures to carry me along this voyage.
Karen
To Everybody,
I know this is a blogspot and not a gallery—but that is all the more reason to address that fact. Do you not feel comfortable writing in a way that mimics that of the white cube; does it not feel appropriate in this setting? If not, why? Is this not a virtual space of expression to be used as YOU wish?
If you chose to maintain the look and feel of a blog, like Jeanine for example, prepare your statement to cater to that concept. Others are shooting for a virtual gallery experience, like Sam, and they should take a more academic approach to the statement. (This is not to be confused with boring or traditional; one can be very abstract and creative with a statement.)
Thank you to those who had their work up by Midnight, last night. I gave you all full credit if you had done that. I will grade again tonight at Midnight to give credit to those who have completed the crits.
Thom,
The photos are looking good! Love the pharmacy shot. I think that this discipline is very constructive for you. Dig the new header.
As for the statement, I think that the overall sentiment is strong and true to the format and content of the images, but I would like to see how it would turn out if it were worded a bit less informally—especially the opening sentence. I feel it is revealed as an assignment; perhaps it reads as an assignment that you gave to yourself, but still—do you want that? I think that because the images, for the most part, are informal and not heavily relying on technicalities that your verbiage may need to be upgraded a bit. Go through and get rid of every word and sentence that you do not absolutely need. It can stand to be shorter.
Tiff,
The new photos are nice, you have a real eye—but you need to buckle down. You are not producing enough images per week. Focus, the discipline will do you good.
I can barely read the statement because of the light color—and there just isn’t quite enough of one just yet. You are on the right track with the intimacy part—pull that poetess out of yourself, girlfriend, and spice it up a bit! I know this is a blogspot and not a gallery—but that is all the more reason to address and demand from a broad audience!
Ray,
Edited, this sentence is awesome, “Photography has always seemed to exist for me, and this is allowing me to exist for photography.” It is the bottom line of what your revised statement should be. Go with more of that! Otherwise I feel it is revealing the blog as an assignment, and we don’t want that.
The photos are looking good, man, keep wrestling with that snailish interweb service and hang in there. Loving what you can get to us!
Ruth,
Sorry to hear you are sick—please, in the future, let me know so I can excuse you.
So this is awesome! (fragmented and improper grammer, but the sentiment is awesome)
“Everybody sees what they want to see, but hardly sees the truth. I also haven't helped any, always smiling, and joking around, never saying what I really mean.”
Your photos totally do that. Keep rolling with this. Revise your statement so that you cut out all of the words that you absolutely do not need, besides these. You have a lot to do to catch up, so shoot lots of images as soon as you are all better!
REBEKAHS,
I feel that the language is in keeping with the sexy, yet dangerous taunting vibe that the overall look of the blog has. Just look what happens if you remove all reference to photography:
Experimentation … it is my number one goal. The actual moment is an afterthought to the idea of playing with materials in a stagnant environment in hopes to reveal unknown subjects about myself. I like to play but I have a few rules: 1) never play; 2) don’t look too much; 3) read into everything. May you enjoy the gifts I bear.
Whoa. If that is what you want, well then, you got it sister!
Do you agree with my observation—are you interested in analyzing it? You and Chavis sort of have the same kind of thing going on. Interesting. Not sure if the semicolons work.
Jessica E,
Way too wordy! Simplify. Go through and get rid of every word and sentence that you do not absolutely need. It can stand to be a lot shorter. Toss in a couple of 25-cent words, to replace some of the redundancy. You are on the right track—You blog does what your words says it will do, but in a more creative way that your statement. Try to make your statement as creative as the images.
Sam,
See ya Friday!
Rezvan,
The statement is creative, simple and poignant. Perfect!
I think you should create your own header. The current one fits, but yours will be better—you are a good designer, don’t settle for their default. I want you (a part of your body) in every photo—but I like that YOU are a mystery. Exciting!
Jeanine,
Hot, short, and seductive. You are artistic, and showing signs of bravery.
Give us more photos. I want more, seven a day—it is practice that makes perfect. Push for it!
Karen,
Would you be comfortable with just:
“I appear in each image, even if only in shadow, stretching my creativity, so that you may enjoy these pieces of me.”
They are all your words, just shortened and reconstructed to be a bit more poetic. It’s cool if it is not your style, but I thought it would be fun to see it this way.
Day 26 doesn’t seem to fit. Do you see it too or should I go into “why?”
Jessica,
Well written and clean! As you refine it, try to warm it up a bit. Do not get casual in your language, but perhaps try your hand at a more poetic tone. It is very scientific now, and to the point. It works, but I want these words to do to me what your most successful images do, and that is leave me engaged and searching my mind for a branch to grab, so that I may pull out of the way of danger. Look again. Your photos do more to the viewers psyche than you realize. It is not just about green.
Andrew,
Dig it. Well done.
Try not giving us the number of photos you will take (115)—it is predetermined and the rest seems to be about organic choices and discovery. Do you need that number for you?
Play with other spots to place the text.
Pink works, but it is running on too long across the top of the page does not work so well formally, you know?
Enjoying the photos! Good eye, good colors. I just want at least 7 a week. Discipline will do you good, mister!
Demetria,
I enjoy your photos. I like the hands. I just need the statement to go further with my crit .I know for sure that I am not, however, feeling the header. It has nothing to do with your other images and feels very disconnected from them. Try and make a header that responds directly to the images below it and see what comes out. Looking forward to the statement. Full crit to follow! Did you get everything worked out that we had discussed? Let me know!
Chavis,
This is almost there, and you bring up points that I have been waiting on someone to hit on. Get rid of the language that reveals it as a project. Then you are on to tweaking a few words and bam. The images are looking good-- feistier, albeit, a bit more staged. Are we going for that? Hmmm.
Karmeshia,
Glad to have you back! These photos are looking great! The top one is a personal favorite for its costuming and humor! You have a fantastic eye for color!
Check out Thom’s “Around Town” link that is on his blog. You will find you have a common interest.
You should keep trusting your instincts on the color and strive to learn more and more about design. That header is a great in terms of color, but I bet you could find a better font if you dug around.
The statement does the trick, but you need to spell check, watch for over worded sentences and placing commas in the proper place. Shorten it by three sentences at least. You can be serious and direct in your statement, because your photos are very whimsical.
VAL
ps, did I forget anyone?
Ray
I like the adamancy of the statement. It is strong and direct. I'm not exactly sure if the word 'documentary' can be used as an adjective, maybe "documentary-like"? Or perhaps a different way of wording that all together. I know what you're trying to say though. I like the last line of '...existing for photography'.
I like the narrative quality of the new photos btw.
Tiffany
I would definitely suggest that you change the color of the text to make it at least legible. Did you fall asleep during my font lecture? Have I not taught you anything! Perhaps you're trying to emphasize the mysterious nature of your blog by making the text indecipherable? If this is the case, I don't think it's really necessary. But if you just enjoy a light colored font, a nice light gray or light blue or green even would work fine and still have a subtlety to it that you might like.
Anyway, I think the statement starts strong then ends a bit abruptly. I think you should expand on that last sentence because it's a tad vague right now. The viewer will undoubtedly 'voyage' through your photos, but how? Inquisitively? With a sense of wonder? Awe? To what end? And leaving with what? You don't have to throw adverbs around, but if you shined that last part up a bit, it could be really nice. Or not, but at least change the color. :D
I like the new photos (especially the one with the books in the room), but I want to see a lot more!
Rebekah
I like the strong focus on the experimental aspect of your blog. The statement is short and sweet but I think it can be even shorter. Your rules confuse me a bit. You say you like to play, but the first rule is never play? Maybe it's like fight club...like, we'll fight, but we won't talk about it. Are the rules for me or you? I dunno, but either way I think it could work without.
There's a lot of movement and energy in the newer photos that I enjoy.
Jessica E.
First, you don't need to say 'computer camera' because you specify that the camera comes inherent with all new 'apple computers'. Secondly, I like how you are incorporating the technical aspects of the work (photoshop, the computer, post-production, etc.) into the statement but I think that aspect should not take precedent over the conceptual exploration being done with the series. The statement works best when you're talking about why and what you're doing and not so much how, even though it's nice to have that in there too....if that makes sense. Love the new outdoor photos btw, and the bath tub scene is hilarious.
Sam
They confiscated your make-up at the border?
BURN
I kid. I kid.
Rezvan
I love your statement. I don't really have anything to say about it, other than I don't want you to change it. It feels so guttural, so instinctual, honest...piercing almost, like an arrow shot wildly into the sky if only for the sake of being shot. Its faults, whatever they might be, only highlight its sincerity. Beautiful.
Jeannine
This is a really strong statement that is true to what your blog is doing I think. I really like the central line:
I'm trying to form a photographic existence with hope that you'll decipher the illusions.
Which is probably the most apt way to describe exactly what I try to do every time I look through you're blog. Both the work and the statement come across intriguingly ambiguous. "Alluring" is another word that comes to mind. I'm actually kind of confused as to whether this ambiguity is good or bad, but I also think that the fact the work raises so many questions can only be good.
Karen
I think your statement is probably the most straightforward out of everyone's but also the cleanest, in a very safe way. It's short and concise, to the point, honest, even kind. You can never go wrong with the truth.
Jessica
I like the passion in your statement, the fact that you 'need' to express yourself daily is a nice touch. I think my only squabbles are minor technicalities. Like you don't need to say "sense of feeling what I'm feeling" because "sense of what I'm feeling" gets that across without the redundancy. Once you clean it up a bit, I think you'll have a nice strong statement.
Andrew
I actually like your statement. I like the inquisitive tone of it and it really did make me think about those notions of habit for a minute. I'm a really firm believer in the animal nature of man too though, so I might be a little bias. I do agree with some of the other statements, however, in regard to the statement not entirely matching up with your actual photos. I don't see the same inquiries taking place within the photos, at least not as much. What are your habits? Taking pictures of your face everyday? I want to know more.
Chavis
Your statement raises some valid questions about the nature of existence and 'self', which I like. Like a couple others, it has that tone that says "I'm learning about myself on the way too", which is good. A pretty solid statement. I really don't have much to say about it. Maybe a different font and a lighter color though? Aesthetically, it could look better on the blog.
Karmeshia
Its like I see what you're trying to say and where you're going, I just think there needs to be some structural and technical changes to the way you're writing it down. It doesn't flow very well, and in fact I think if you just cut it down to this:
Sometimes the shoes that I wear can tell what I am thinking or the type of mood that I am in. Capturing 115 photos of my lower body rather than my facial expressions will be a joy for you to guess where I am and how I am feeling.
...it would work just as well. And the last part is a tad presumptuous, although I do enjoy these pictures (even the kind of blurry ones).
You have some pretty bad ass kicks btw.
Hi Everyone. Sorry about my being two days late, getting settled turned out to take more time than expected, and I've been troubleshooting my blog in the time I've been on blogspot to have something I want critiqued. ANYWAYS
From Sam:
Thom
I read from your blog exactly as you state it. Though when I came across the word "project" I became torn. I think it is ok because your photos are so personal that your endeavor seems self imposed. I'm not sure that makes much sense. I appreciate the new banner as well.
P.S. That burn was cold, man.
Ray
Ray, your statement is refreshing in that your photos are of you doing just as you state: existing.
Tiffany
I seem to have missed the boat that was your statement. I must say, though the photo of your moving legs is very captivating. I can't wait to see more !
Ruth
Your statement shows a courage that I am not seeing on your blog because of the lack of new photographs! I have to agree with Jessica Emrick in that if you are trying to show the "real" you, have no reservations about capturing your miserable and sick visage. I would be fascinated if I had that sort of insight. Have the camera at arms reach always! Happy shooting, Ruth; I can't wait to see what you will show us.
Rebekah
I'm afraid I've missed your statement as well.
Jessica E.
You've expressed your intent well, so much so you could do with removing some of the more redundant sentiments. The opening sentence and second seem like they should maybe move towards the end where you allude to the significance of process. A little bit of organization and thesaurus.com would make your statement flow a little better.
Maybe instead of:
"After being taken each image is edited in photoshop using only: one layer, the paint brush tool and the eraser tool."
One could say :
"Using a single layer I manipulate the environment in which I've captured with the aid of the paint brush and eraser tools." or something like that, maybe?
Maybe even add something about the simplicity of the manipulation and how that helps to convey the wonderful childlike creativity that has been so successful in your photographs. Keep on truckin'
Rezvan
So very poetic! I like that I had to move through your pieces to find your statement, it works really well. Portraiture itself has always been intended to document and immortalize the subject. You documenting a physical mark left by you in your self-portrait project makes it seem that much more crucial. I hope I make sense, I think your project is really great and has a sense of urgency alluding to the futility of it all. I will find out a way to elaborate this better. I do hope you find a way to get yourself in more photos -- even if just a hint of yourself as you've been doing, it works well.
Jeannine
From what I remember before you deleted your statement ...
I like that I was just another blog entry, staying true to your format.
Karen
The most exciting thing about your blog indeed: watching your creativity grow. I think this is a solid, straightforward and clear statement.
Jessica
I Like the opening sentence of your statement -- maybe even go so far to say your photos are the result of your need for daily expressive release. I think I understand what you mean by "... to create a sense of feeling what I'm feeling" but it may be a slightly awkward sentence. I find my favorite of your photos (you on top of the hood of a car)found me identifying with your non-typical way of releasing your expressiveness ... if that makes sense. Your interests are suggested in most of your photographs; I feel they stand strongly on their own. Maybe convey that sentiment in a more subtle way.
Andrew
Nice. My only suggestion is to consider the aesthetic of your statement a little more. Is it comfortable to the eye to travel along your pink thought? I understand though, because I had the same layout. Its limitations led me to format my blog/statement to the same as yours has which. In turn, its limitations led me to seek out a new layout and design (I won't lie, it was a kind of a pain in the ass.)
cheers!
Demetria
Your statement, I see no.
Chavis
I dig - Your investigative intent is clear especially in the more recent photographs. Second sentence slightly awkward but I appreciate the introspectiveness.
Karmeshia
Welcome Back!
This is going to be fun, I'm interested. Do it up on the spell check and get that text off the photo! I can't see your shoe!
I like that you've been exploring color/design. I hope you don't stop here, though. I think you should consider a different font for your banner. You seem to wear a lot of sneakers so the font seems to delicate for the subject matter you are exploring. Walking in the street, maybe take note of a sign or some wordage that strikes you, or even a shoe brand logo/type--graffiti,even ; similar fonts can be found online for free download take advantage of it!
Um. Sam? I didn't delete my statement. You have to scroll down more to see it. Also, you have to scroll down to the very bottom to see Rebekah's. Tiffany's statement is there too, you just have to highlight her text because it's pink. Thanks for the comment, though.
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