Revise your statements and blogs according to the critiques that you have received on June 18th, by Tuesday, June 24th at midnight.
On Wednesday, please revisit everyones blog and do a quick evaluation of its finality. If someone needs more work--say so, if not give them a thumbs up and move on. We are going to dive into our book starting Wednesday July 2nd, so the blog should be developed so that it only needs to be updated weekly. YOU STILL MUST TAKE DAILY PORTRAITS EVEN THOUGH WE MAY NOT LOOK AT THEM EVERY WEDNESDAY.
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12 comments:
Thom,
Looking good! I think you have accomplished exactly what you have set out to do. I enjoy the new ones in which you are playing with lighting. Overall you have a nice range of images that do seem to work well with each other, because of the consistent domestic settings.
You format is solid; just keep taking as close to 7 images per week that you can muster, so that you aren’t missing a ton at the end. You have 28, which is pretty good. Especially for coming into the class 2 weeks late! Keep going. You can do it!
Ray,
I would remove the word “project”—if it were mine. Also, you have got to give us more images. YOU HAVE SEVEN. The bird does not count, unless you were on peyote. You must have close to 100 by the end of this class and we are almost half way thru! You should have at least 35-40 by now. There is much for you to catch up on. Get cranking. You owe all of your classmates an intense critique.
Tiff,
Statement is much, much better. I do not think you need this sentence but it is just me. “I will be posting my photos in this blog to share my travels with the public.”
I do feel that you need to address the color, font and layout. The two blues clash and the font blue really vibrates. It is hard to read in a different way than before. Just take 15 minutes and play with it. It can be great! Your photos are truly lovely and they do exactly what you say they will, we just need more. You have thirteen. You need more like 35-40. Also, You owe all of your classmates an intense critique.
Ruth,
Where are you girlfriend? You owe all of your classmates an intense critique.
Rebekha,
I think you are set! Do you want people to be able to comment on your images? If not, I suggest removing the O COMMENTS text under the photos. Otherwise, keep the weird props coming. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Jessica E,
You are setting a perfect example of diligence and work ethic! You have 36 images. Good. I appreciate your creativity and stamina! My only suggestions are to change your settings so that one may scroll all of the way down to the end, and keep revising your statement. It is almost there.
Sam,
Nicely written statement my dear! Wouldn’t change a word.
Looking good! Thirty-one images put you around where you need to be, keep pushing for as close to seven a week as possible. Each photo makes one a better photographer! Keep up the good work!
Rezvan,
I can see that your wheels are spinning, and you are getting there. I appreciate your explaining things! I am interested in where you are headed. We do need a statement at some point, however.
I look forward to seeing your new layout and banner. Use those skills lady!
Forty images are perfect! Keep up that diligence. It is much appreciated!
Jeanine,
I think you are set. Your photos are consistent with your statement and overall mood of the blog. You are catching up with 31 images. Keep moving and try to take as close to 7 images a week as you can! Nice work sister!
Karen,
Whew! Have you come a long way with this blog! Remember how it looked at the very beginning? I am enjoying its evolution and the images are becoming more and more interesting. Statement is great! Do not slow down on the image making. You need to push for as close to 7 per week as possible. You are averaging 4. You have 30 right now, which is close—push a little harder.
Jessica N,
Love the statement. Yes, Love it. Very bold! I would play with how the sentences are arranged, to create a more pleasing aesthetic.
You can remove the title bar or just change the outline color to black and the title font color to black and it will disappear!
Your images are in the low twenties. You need to catch up in terms of that. Keep moving and try to take 7 images a week or more!
Andrew,
Where are you mister? You have 20 images. You need to catch up in terms of that. Keep moving and try to take 7 images a week or more! I agree with Thom on the pink at the top. I don’t mind it being pink—just where it is.
You owe all of your classmates an intense critique.
Demetria,
Are you still with us?
Chavis,
Statement is really getting there, maybe hit it one more time just to shine it to perfection. I think your images look good and are working well with your words. You are at about 34 images. Not bad, but try for 7 per week. Good work. You owe all of your classmates an intense critique.
Karmeshia,
I would cut it down to something like this:
“Body language reveals certain things about a person. By taking pictures of my lower body over a period of 115 days, I will attempt to capture elements of my sense of humor and style.(you need one more sentence here that establishes the “why”)”
Read your classmates statements again. You are getting there.
You have thirty images, which is pretty good! Try for 7 per week to get
yourself good and caught up. Your images are humorous and interesting! You
are a creative composer for sure! Keep up the great work!
Val, my statement was posted for when it was due, you saw it then, remember?
I would like a new crit please.
REZVAN
rebekah's comments:
THOM,
Your statement is still working great with your page. I LOVE the image w/ you and the cat at the frig, it is so everyday but makes an awesome photo.
VAL,
I think the statement is working well with your page. The idea of waking up everyday and "hunting" for colors and shapes is a refreshing concept. The way your stetment pops up on dots goes really well with the page too, both are fun and keep you looking.
*I saw Demetria and she told me the university dropped her from the class, thought you might want to know.
RAY,
I don't think you have changed your statement since last week...once again take out referring to a "project". It will really help your statement.
TIFFANY,
Documenting your experinces sounds mundane but completely nessecary and the images are great. It will be rewarding in the end I am sure. The idea of being a "tourist in your own space" is an interesting concept, I dig it.
RUTH:
No new images, come on, you can do it. You were really on to something in the old ones, I want to see MORE!!
JESSICA E:
I am still loving your images!! You look awesome in the crown photo. The statement is working well with the page. You mention childlike simplicity in your statement ... maybe the way you write your statement could have childlike simplcity also, just a thought.
SAM:
Nice statement. Everything is working great in it, nothing to crit. The photos are looking better and better (they are always great).
REZVAN:
I love that I am seeing more of your body in the newer images, very nice! #40 is probably my all time favorite. I can sense the way you are feeling and the squares are still a big part of the photo.
JEANNINE:
Your images go right along with your statement. All of them look fantastic. Your wording between your photos captures me.
KAREN,
Your statement is short and sweet. I like that. They are to the point just like your blog photos. Great job!
JESSICA:
Nice job on your statement. Seperating it works well with your blog. Reading the statement in fragments mimics seeing you thru fragments captured in the photos. As if when I get to the end of the blog it will be complete.
ANDREW:
The statement is still working well. I like the images, I just want to see more of them. Oh! And the pink is kicking.
CHAVIS:
Your new images are GREAT!! To see them on top of one another is funny (like the mouth and eye). Your statment is still working well too. Keep up the good work.
KARMESHIA:
HOLY CRAP! How many shoes do you have?! You have been working your butt off pumping out lots of new photos. You sitting on the laundry is probably my favorite. Your statement needs a little more explaining about your blog. It is missing something.
Jessica E crit
Thom
I love the blog and statement. Wonderful work! I love the picture of you and the cat looking into the fridge.
Val
I love how each of your images is honest, and sometimes you look a little tired. You aren't trying to take commercial pictures. Your statement is nice, but a little hard too read when it jumps about. I didn't notice it had more parts at first.
Ray
Did anything change?
Tiff
Found your log this time! :) I like the statement. I love the picture of your legs moving in an otherwise clean and almost sterile place. I want to see more pictures.
Ruth
I don't see a change from last week.
Rebecca
Your statement works. I enjoy seeing the weird objects you come up with your your pictures. You look like you have a lot of fun! Keep it up!
Sam
I completely forgot to crit you on Friday. Sorry! Anywho, The statement is nice, and your pictures are really good. I am enjoying you facial expressions. It is odd, however that you originally have things covering your face to showing all.
Rezvan
I like the one shoe on and one shoe off picture. I think I have the same issue as last time with your statement: punctuation. There is a comma that seems out of place in the 5th line as well as that apostrophe in line 4. You can just say "I will" to not have it. But that is completely up to you. Some of the pictures have less vibrant colors than other. Do you color correct? You are doing a wonderful job!
Jeannine
:) I've got no problems with you statement, and I love the picture from june 21, however I don't know if it fits with your other pictures. It have some pretty bright colors while your other images seem to be muted.
Karen
In the last sentence of your statement you really don't need "stretching my creativity." Is there anything you hope to get out of the project in the end other than a documentation of what you did?
Jessica
Interesting statement arrangement. It addresses the blog in a different way than anyone else's has. It's nice. On your pictures. Try working with lighting not flash. If you notice, your outdoor images have better coloring. The flash ads a weird blue hue. Try setting up some laps around or even going out and buying some of your own. This helps you control the lighting better. I also thinks it's pretty fun.
Andrew
Did anything change?
Chavis
Yay! more pictures. They are strange in comparison to the first ones you took. I am weirded out by the teeth one, but I don't think that is a bad thing. I like your first sentence a lot. I think you know if you are in the picture or not. See if you can prove one way or the other.
Karmeshia
Oh man the sextrology picture could be amazing if you had put lighting on your feet. I almost want it re taken. And as cool as the really photoshopped one of you doing a hand stand on you door is. I think you should stay away from doing that much in photoshop. Also I find it incredibly interesting how in some of the images you change from girl to boy because of the more masculine clothes you wear. Some of them you are clearly a girl and other ones are gender neutral or even boyish. That is fascinating. I love the idea. You are doing a great job! I am not sure what your statement needs, but work on it, it close to being good for your blog.
Thom,
It doesn’t look like you’ve changed anything about your statement, which is completely fine by me. The blog looks good and I really enjoy the two high contrast photographs you’ve put up recently, especially the picture of you and your cat in front of the refrigerator. The setup in that picture is just awesome. I’m amazed that your cat could be so still. Also, I don’t know if I mentioned this last week, but I too like the new banner.
Val,
I am seriously impressed not only by the way you’ve written your statement, but by the way you’ve set it up! I was confused at first because I couldn’t see it all, though I think the circular setup of the statement is effective. It allows the viewer to take the time to really contemplate what you’re doing. You’re staying true to your photographs and the colors that compose them. I also like that you’ve added the amount of colorful circles about equal to the circles in your photographs. Everything is lovely.
Ack. I have to leave the house. Emergency. I’’ll crit more later.
Rezvan's comments
Thom, as I said before, your blog is very engaging. I enjoy everything that's going on with your photographs, the ones at home and the ones outside. Great work!
Val, I love your new photos with the wondering dots, very Creative! But I saw the word experience coming up twice right next to eachother in your statement and that was a bit distracting. Other than that, Great layout.
Ray, I don't have anything new to say about your blog, your statement's working. I look forward to seeing more photos from you.
Tiffany, I like your statement a lot, and I like the theme. This "an occasionally intimate, but inevitably reticent documentation of me for a few months." sounds really good. I just really want to see more images on your blogs to see if the statement goes witht them.
Rebekah, still interesting and experimental. Everything is working well in your blog. Good job!
Jessica E, I enjoy your creativity very much. I do agree with Val though, I wish I could see them all in one page. Scroll down layout. What do you think?
Sam, I like your statement, it works. But just a few photos (towards the end) look a bit tourist like, and that's okay, but they don't go with all your other photographs, they throw me off a little, u know? May be you would find a creative way to make them different?
Jeannine, I love your blog. Despite the fact that you don't think you're artistic, I see a great deal of art in your blog. Good job!
Karen, you have come a long way, I really like your new photographs and like I said before, your statement. Nice!
Jessica N, I like your new statement very much, it works well. Overall, your blog is personal and intersting. Wish there were more photos though.
Karmisha, I like your new statement, I just really wish you didn't say lower body in it. I think your statement would be better without it. You have really fun theme, as I said before, Nice!
Chavis, I can see the influence of your statement in your recent photographs. Great! I am interested to see where they go from here.
Crits from Jessica Nall
Thom-
Your statement is well written and works well with your photographs. I have a clear understanding of the experience you are creating. The picture of you and your cat is adorable!
Val-
The beginning of your statement is very captivating in which it makes me anxious to see the rest of the statement. The way your statement is moving across the page has a good relationship with your other dots on the page because they have a sense of movement.
On another note, you mentioned that my images were in the low twenties, but I have 30(adding one tonight). I just wanted to mention it cause I don’t want to get any points knocked off me. =)
Ray-
I don’t think your statement has changed. Am I wrong? I think is very nice and striking. My only crit is the part in which you state you are doing a project. It kind of detours from the ‘magic’ of the blog.
Tiffany-
I would like to see your pictures of your travel so I connect the statement to the pictures.
Ruth-
Are you still sick? =(
Rebekah-
Thumbs up. Can you explain these rules more to me?
Jessica E.-
I’m really glad that you simplified your paragraph! It works much better than the lengthy one. I still love looking at your page and getting a good laugh.
Sam-
I love how you mention this is your theater because when I am looking at your images and reading the captions I find my self engaged as though I am lost in a theater. Nice job!
Rezvan-
Loved it then and love it now! I like being able to see more of you, but you are still a mystery to me.
Jeannine-
All the elements on your page flow nicely and are consistent in relation to your statement. You got the mojo girl.
Karen-
Your statement is very simplistic and that can be very refreshing. Nice work. I enjoy seeing your creativity “stretch”.
Andrew-
Where the heck are ya?
Chavis-
Last time I said it was excellent and I don’t think you have changed anything. Unless I missed something. Please inform me if I did.
Karmeshia-
I think your old statement complimented your blog better than your more recent statement. Your new statement states “I noticed that facial expressions and body language tells a lot about a person” to me this does not quite match with you pictures because you are not showing facial expressions and not really showing dynamic body language. I like your old statement better because I remember it saying something about telling a person’s mood by the shoes they wear and it mentioned something about your travels. In my opinion the old statement worked better.
Your images are really fun and I’m really into the one where your feet are interacting with strange object such as washing machine and the book.
Hi Everyone,
Karen here.
Hi Thom,
I’m really enjoying your new photos. There’s such a personal quality about them. I almost feel like a house guest, seeing the behind the scenes info about you. You are true to your statement.
Hi Val,
Your blog is such a wonderful example to us. It’s a great piece in it’s own right. I’m really enjoying it, and it looks like you are too!
Hi Ray,
I look forward to seeing updates to your blog.
Hi Tiffany,
Your statement has improved greatly. All the key concepts are there, but still, I think it could flow better. I enjoy your photographs and can’t wait to see more.
Hi Ruth,
Don’t give up!
Hi Rebecca,
I think your statement is great. I’m really enjoying your experimentation. Keep up the good work
Hi Jessica E,
I’m still really enjoying your photos I see where you are going with your statement.
Hi Sam,
I really like the premises of your statement. “…a means to become more than what my one life can possibly offer” is especially striking. Regarding your layout, I like that I have the option of clicking on “2008” by the archives to pull up all of your photos on one page if I choose to. I’m enjoying the props you come up with for your photos. Nothing critical today
Hi Rezvan,
Your photos are getting better each week. I like seeing you in them. I truly will never forget you and your take on this project
I was looking at your statement again and I saw something that, if two words were omitted, would make it roll off the tongue more poetically. This is where it is:
Where you see a sign, a painted square
I was there
If you just take out “a sign,” it would give it that ring. It may sound too doggerel to you. Just a thought.
Hi Jeannine,
Your blog and statement are so moving! You display such raw emotion and I can’t help but being drawn in by it and wondering how you are, who you are and what is it that you are going through. Definitely captivating! You keep me coming back for more.
Hi Jessica,
Your statement is so poetic. It really fits well with your photographs, which are evolving nicely also. I love the heels on the treadmill. Too funny.
Hi Andrew & Demetria,
I look forward to seeing updates to your blogs.
Hi Chavis,
Love the statement, incase I didn’t get that across last time. The new photos capture the spirit of your statement. It’s funny, when I saw your close up shots, I wanted to play Mr. Potato Head! All in all, I like the way your blog is coming along.
Hi Karmeshia,
I’m really enjoying your feet! I can’t wait to see where you’ll be taking me next. As far as your statement goes, I think it could use a little polish to help flow better.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Karen
I apologize for my abrupt exit earlier. Everything is fine now, so allow me to proceed.
Ray,
Your statement is nice, but I will have to agree with the majority and say that you should really take out the word project. Other than that, I think your statement is fine. Try and post more pictures soon!
Tiffany,
I’m so proud that you changed the font color on blog! : ) I like your rewritten statement; however, I would probably take out the word ‘like’ in the first sentence. It makes you sound a little unsure of yourself. I don’t see any new photographs since last week, so get to it! I’m excited to see more.
Ruth,
When you finally do feel better, I would take out the whole beginning part of your text regarding your sickness and refer back to your blog alone. The last half of the statement is solid, just post some new pictures ASAP!
Rebekah,
Your most recent picture completely cracks me up! I love it. The color is so fun and different. Also, you look stunning in the picture right underneath it. I really admire you for going that extra mile and brining your own backdrops for pictures. Keep it up, girl! I like that you changed the word ‘photography’ to ‘technology’, too. Given the area that your photographs are taken, I think it’s very appropriate.
Jessica E.,
I’m glad you were able to shorten your statement without taking crucial words out. I said it last week, but I think the statement is perfect for what you’re doing. Nice job, m’lady.
Oh, and you look SERIOUSLY vogue in the picture of you with the crown on. Your caricatures never cease to entertain me.
Sam,
I like the new layout much better than the old one. Your statement is simple and refreshing. Every time I look at your photographs, I feel like I really am experiencing your theatre, which has a lot to do with this new layout. So, good work. I hope you’re enjoying your vacation!
Rezvan,
I lovelovelove the recent photographs you’ve posted. While all of your photographs are artistic and beautiful, it makes me so happy that you’ve decided to include some of your body in these photographs. Even if you don’t do it every week, they really tie in nicely with the older photographs that you’ve taken. Also, in retrospect, your blog statement really isn’t that frightening. I think when I read it, I was watching too many episodes of Prison Break, so I was reading it like some kind of psycho would. At any rate, it fits well and your blog is very nice. The little square on your hand is cute, too.
Karen,
Whoa, sugar, you’re dangerous! I love the bravery that you’re showing in the most recent picture. Chopping off your hair without looking! That is out of control. I love it. I can understand why you would take out the bits of the statement that you did, but even with this revised statement, I still think its purpose on your blog stays true to the pictures. I really enjoy what you’re doing and I hope to see a new picture every day from now on! : )
Jessica N.,
Your new statement makes me melt. It just sounds so sincere. I’m glad that you were able to put your creativity to work and rewrite something more fitting. Your photographs are humorous and poetic. I really feel like I’m forming my own piece of you and I’m glad that you’re intentions are letting me. Keep those pictures coming! : )
Andrew,
I don’t see a new statement or any new pictures, so I wonder if you’re still with us. Let us know when you get back from wherever it is that you are!
Demetria,
Did I read it right when Rebekah said that you are no longer in class with us? : ( I’m very disappointed to hear that. I’m not sure if you’ll read this or not, but I hope you are well. Maybe we’ll see each other in the fall!
Chavis,
Your statement is fine. It doesn’t appear to be revised, but I already told you how I felt about it last week. Looking at it now, the only word I would take out is ‘project’. As far as photographs go, you really don’t ever disappoint me. The new photographs seem very much about colors and shapes alone. Do you think this will be an ongoing theme? While I enjoy these types of photographs, I also enjoy the ones where you are recognized as the person that I’ve met. The variety keeps me interested. I hope that you will continue to show us both styles.
Karmeshia,
I like the new statement much better than the old one. I also like the placement of your legs/feet in the top three. I’m starting to get to know you through these pictures and I must admit I thought that I wouldn’t. You’re utilizing other elements to accentuate who you are through your lower body and it’s definitely working. Keep up the good work.
This concludes our fireside chat. Until next week, America!
Love,
Jeannine
Thom
cheers! i am enjoying your most recent photographs and you are true to yr statement.
Val
Your statement works for your blog in every way. As you have succeeded in your hunt for these colors you then proceed to engage your viewers in their own hunt for the objects in the composition which are complimented by your dots of color. i love it!
Ray
there has not been a change to your statement; i hold true to my last crit of your statement. Though I will add I agree that you should get rid of the word "project" maybe use the word "blog" instead.
Tiffany
I see your statement now! I agree with Jeannine in that you should get rid of the word "like" in your first sentence.
I can't wait to see your travels.
Ruth
Refer to my last crit.
Rebekah
I definitely read your statement through all of your photos. I think you should rid of the semi-colons as well. The language you've employed serves your blog/photography great! Well done.
Jessica E.
Much better!
Rezvan
Still love the statement as is.
Jeannine
Your statement is wonderful. As I go through your blog I am engaged by the intimacy the images lend themselves to. Also, the illusion: perpetuated by the images, sometimes by the text. Great. hope you're having a swell time in San Fran (if you are indeed still there. If not then hope you are just having a swell time.)
Karen
Keep on keeping on, girl!
Jessica N.
Soo much better! Captivating poetry --I like that you are addressing the viewers' role in your blog. Good job, ma'am.
Andrew
Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.
Demetria
That stinks that your were dropped from the class.
Chavis
Keep on truckin'
Karmeshia
Statement is nice, just needs some rearranging and added sentiments as to why (pretty much what Val said I agree with.)
See you guys next week!
Sam
Karmeshia Easley Comments:
Thom: Your statement goes perfect with your blog. No two pictures are alike in any way and I have learned so much about you and your surroundings. I would have to say that my favorite is the one of you and the cat. Keep up the good work.
Val: I don't know what to say. Your statement compliments your page and pictures all in one. You are very creative with the circles and the way that you position them are amazing. The best part is that you go deeper than just having a circle in each picture. I love it.
Ray: I don't remember yours being any different from last week, but this one still fits the concept that you are following. I would love to see more pictures to back your statement up.
Tiffany: I like the idea that you have with being a tourist, but I think that you should take pictures of things that you normally wouldn't. Some of the pics are blurry but I like the idea of what you are getting at.
Ruth: I'm waiting on you to bounce back with wonderful pics. Get well soon.
Rebecca: I see you didn't change yours. Once again, I love the rules that you set; never playing is still my favorite. Good Job.
Jessica E: Your statement tells more about what you did in photoshop rather than what your target it. I love watching your creative skills with this project and can't wait to see more. Good job girl.
Sam: Your statement really backs up your picture. Since you want the audience to experience your theater, I think you should take more action pictures rather than normal everyday pictures.
Rezvan: You really do exist. I can remember your statement the minute I click on your blog. Continue to place these squares in weird places and photograph them.
Jeannine: Your statement is short and to the point. I love the idea of not doing it for yourself but for the viewer. Your pics really keeps me interested.
Karen: Your statement says exactly what your pictures show. Great job.
Jessica: Wow...Your statement is great. It leaves me thinking after I read it. Your pictures really tell alot about you as well. I want to see more!!!
Andrew: Your statement works well with your blog. The one pic of you leg took away from the facial pictures that you have captured everyday.
Demetria: Pretty much the same.
Chavis: Great job with the pictures. You aren't afraid to show the true you and your statement compliments that. Keep up the good work.
Val
I like your statement! It's well written and I like the animated format. I don't like the 'futura condensed' font though...'futura medium' always looks better. I love the new photo with the baby tomato and the red dots btw.
Tiffany
Your statement is much better! I agree that you don't need the word 'like' in the first sentence though. Also, I need to see more pictures, a lot more.
Rebekah
All is well.
Jessica E
Nice revisions! The new photos are great, especially the one with you and the crown: very glam.
Sam
Very nice statement. I like your new layout as well. Everything is sharp and clean. The new pictures are really nice too. I especially like #25, great colors and textures in that one.
Rezvan
Awesome. I'm liking the experimentation in composition in the new pics too.
Jeannine
I'm continually intrigued by your photos. I really like "when i turn to stone" and the very latest photo; it's quite brooding, but in a good way.
Karen
Very nice. Very nice.
Jessica
Wow I think these latest photos are your best yet. They're actually conceptual and very thought inducing, especially the treadmill/high hell one and your latest one with the reflective surface. Keep it up.
Chavis
I'm liking your last couple of photos and how they almost come together like pieces to a puzzle. The latest one is an interesting portrait too and reflects your statement well.
Karmeshia
Much better. I like the new pictures too. The one with the book and the one with the dryer are working the best I think.
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